Thursday, January 22, 2009

In Memory of Yoda

I'm coming to you from a computer that may or may not crash at any given moment (for the 50th time in 2 days). I stepped over a mound of laundry waist deep to get here, son has stitches in his face, and husband is out of town for the weekend as of tomorrow. Oh, and we have no dog.

So humor me, if you will.

Yes, I know it could be worse. Long ago (no really just like 8 months ago) when we moved to FL, life essentially fell apart. What was supposed to be a fresh start was clouded by a huge string of bad luck, talk of divorce, and anything in between. So I can't exactly say we got off on the right footing here from the beginning.

It's ok, cause we've moved past it. But now the bad luck has seemed to return. What is it about luck anyhow? Do you ever notice how it comes in strings, like one thing can't just happen, but you have to *really* be kicked when you're down? Why is that?

Let's rewind.

For a short list of just some of the things I have endured over the last 8 months, here's a peek at what happened since we decided to move.

*Mental bashings ona daily basis from my family about moving- this is such a vague phrase, it honestly cannot even begin to paint the picture of what I endured before coming here. I have a fabulous Christian family, but it was as bad as it could get without being non-religious. Yeah.

*Our house was in shambles when we moved here (the second move in a months time since we lived in a corporate apartment for a month)- we moved twice in 30 days, with 2 kids under 5 and no baby sitter. The only organized room in the entire house was our walk in closet, and the next day after I got all of my clothes hung, the whole entire rack came crashing down to the floor.

*More mental bashings while already here

*The first house we chose had a shoddy landlord who lived in AZ yet still had half of his belongings in the house, including a car, insulted us and said our credit was too low to rent from him, and also only wanted a 4 month lease in case he wanted to move back

* Started getting petty about this point, couldn't even go into the bathroom and clean without a shower curtain rod falling on my head, I think just to spite me

*Husbands air conditioning went out in his car, in FL, in the summer. Paid $500 to get it fixed, couldn't warranty the repair and now he has no air conditioning again

*House we moved into is extremely nice, yet had probably never been vaccummed. That's what you get for viewing things online

*Almost couldn't get daughter registered for Kindergarten due to the rudest nurse I have ever encountered in my life- hey I am a nurse, so don't dog me for dogging her. It was bad. I almost made the 30 minute drive just to kick her ass.

These things are honestly only a small percentage of what we dealt with, which all lead up the grand finale of my first ever anxiety attack that landed me in the hospital because I seriously thought I was dying. I have a whole new perspective on people who suffer through those often. It's wretched.

Why do I tell you all of these things? Well because since then, we have had it pretty good. Unfortunate happenings have been kept at a minimum, and yes I know that it could all be worse, but spare me for the time being.

We can fast forward a bit now, to my talking about how I've always wanted a dog. Never had one. LOVE Pugs. Husband comes home about 3mo ago and surprises me with a pug puppy. I was thrilled and overwhelmed all at once. I had NO clue how much work goes into have a smal animal like that, it truly is like having another child. We named him Yoda.

Fast forward a bit more. The dog is WILD. The other night, son gets out of thebath and as usual, comes down the hall to me to get his pj's on. Dog starts going crazy, runs through sons feet, right at the coffee table. It all happened too fast for me to get to him in time, and son hits smack on the corner of the coffee table. He's now the proud owner of 2 stitches in his eyebrow, and 3 in his cheek. Devistated mom doesn't even begin to describe it.

He's taking it all in stride though. Still sleeping great, playing like crazy. I can tell it hurts him but he really is ok. He has a huge,puffy, black eye, though I am sure that he probably looks a lot worse than he feels. Stitches will be out on Sunday.

Which leads to why we no longer have a dog. Spare me the lecture of how animals are not disposable, and pet population, etc etc. I LOVE animals and have always wanted to be a veteranarian. But then I thought about how animals suffer in silence, can't tell you their problems etc, and it tears my heart out and so in a way that is what lead me to nursing. At least sometimes, though not always, people can tell you what is wrong.

However, there can't ever come a time when my animal(s) mean more to me than my kids. The dog had NO clue what he had done wrong, but there was no way I could ever risk that happening again. If son had hit a little higher or lower, he would possibly be blind right now. I loved my dog, and I cried like a baby when husband left to take him to his new home, but it's a chance we can't take while the kids are small. I will miss Yoda so much. He went to a great home with a lady who has a huge fenced in yard, who also happens to be a nurse, and we are confident in that decision but it still saddens me.

Moving on to other things, the house hunt has all but stalled out. Turns out that we found out that mother in law, who should be paying husbands student loan as his college graduation present, was late about 5 times on it last year. Credit score=Shot. Yeah. Our mortgage lady is about the most non-chalant, non-available person out there, and the home that we found that we REALLY like, that is actually in our price range and needs NO work, already has an offer in on it. It really is about 2 coats of paint away from the perfect home. We can't counter and try to beat it until we get our pre-approval from her. Not to mention that we can't even figure out where we will get our closing cost money and 3.5% down.

If you're ready to give me wine (whine)for my cheese, or call the waaaaammmbulance or whatever, I don't blame you. Yes I am whiny, and feeling a bit crappy, and yes I know it could be SO much worse. I am thankful for all that I have but so annoyed at these past few days events.

I at least thought that now that most of my soreness has worn off, I will do my Wii workout while son naps. 32 min on my first day may have been a bad idea, and apparently I am in worse shape than I thought because yesterday I HURT. But today was a new day. Still sore and down on myself, but why not try to be productive. Well guess what. My Wii? Won't even cut on. WTF is that? I fumbled with every single thing on there and every cord and plug in and--nothing. So no workout today either.

Did I mention it's really not a great day? Really not!


Bridgett said...


Hopefully 2009 will bring a more mellow existence for you. I don't blame you for feeling massive anxiety after everything you've discussed here. We all would.

I'm sorry for your poor son and I'm sorry you had to give up Yoda.

Believe it or not, we have even more in common than previously thought.

My husband bought me a pug in 2002. I named her Lacey Noelle because she was a Christmas puppy. In May, we took her for her routine spay and she died on the operating room table. I'm quite certain it was an anesthesia overdose, but I have no way to prove it. I was devastated.

So I can empathize with your feelings on some level.

Bunnies make good pets, ya know? LOL We have three!

Keep us updated about the house!


Karla said...

Aww Sug. Sorry to hear about Baby Boy's stitches, and Yoda. But you're right, Yoda couldn't come first. Hoping that everything will work out. I'll cross everything crossable, and say a little prayer for you and your family. BIG HUGS.