Sunday, January 18, 2009

Home sick..where is home?

Am I....home sick?
Maybe, except not for my "home" town.

You see, dh and I have been married 6 years this past December. And we've moved once a year since being married. One year, we moved twice.

Yeah, that's not fun.

Well, maybe in a sense it is. My house stays uber organized, and clutter is always kept to a minimum. There's never any chance to accumulate junk when you never stay in one place long.

Anyhow. The one town we lived in was where all of our family was, and what friends we had left that hadn't moved somewhere else, which was only like 2. We had family who babysat at any time we wanted or needed it, so that was a big bonus. But for some reason, that town never felt like home.

It's not that I am a snob, I can promise you that. But after not living there for 2 years and then moving back, I felt like I was so much better than the place I had came from- if that makes any sense. Not the people, but the place in itself. It had nothing to offer. Housing prices were ridiculous, there were no things for young adults to do except get into lots of trouble. I had moved past that. And my "home town" that I grew up and lived in for about 20 years, never felt like home after we came back.

When we went through the job dilemma, we were choosing to live in either FL or Washington DC. DC was the top choice for both of us, but 100% impossible on one income, and my degree would have to be furthered from an LPN to an RN before I even thought about getting a job that would make it worth it to put son in daycare. But still, every time husband had to go on a business assignment to DC, I would get mother in law to watch the kids and steal a weekend away with him. DC felt like home. Of course, any time you are on vacation-esque trip, you think you could live there. It's always the excitement of something new, not having any responsibilities like bills and cleaning for a short time. Yeah I get it, it's not reality. But it still felt good.

Why am I saying all of this? I don't really know. Life in FL hasn't really turned out how I thought. I had a bad feeling about this move before we ever got here, and now the thought of buying a house is so....permanent. Do I want to move again? Nope, pretty sick of it by now. But now that husband has taken a promotion and what not, it's just....yeah. Maybe it's the inauguration, and all of the excitement that is going on up there, that we know that's where we could have been. DC wasn't any more friendly of a town than it is here, but we felt safe and we felt in place. We've only been here 7 months, but at the same time, we've been here 7 months. I haven't made any friends other than the people from daughters Girl Scouts. That's partly my fault, but....yeah.

Am I tired? No. I think I am just doing some random rambling. Sometimes in life I think we come to crossroads, and often times you are forced to take one path which may or may not be the one you wanted to take. Sometimes you're in a good position where you can choose between either path. I think I am just in a grumbling mood, and I needed to talk it out.

Back to laundry ;)


Bridgett said...

I can't blaming you for wanting to live in the D.C. area. DH and I have seriously thought about it as well.

We both love the area.

But the price of living there? Ye Gods!

I do hope you're able to feel peaceful no matter what decision you make.