Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Chomp, Chomp

I have been pathetically lacking on my updates, sorry bout that. I am back, and in decent form ;)
Ok actually I feel like ass, but I hated to start off on a negative note. I think I have a combo of PMS and something else that mildly resembles the flu (no, not swine flu). And I'm here alone with the kids while husband is away. Good times! Moving on.

I've been saying since we moved to Florida that I want to see a gator "in the wild". Our subdivision has 5 or 6 "lakes" (in WV, it's known as a small pond ;) ), and they have signs about not feeding the alligators at a couple. I have yet to figure out if this is to be cute, if it's purely for decoration, to possibly avoid a lawsuit, or what. But I have yet to see an alligator in there, or anything resembling it.

So this past weekend, we take a day trip to a state park for daughters Girl Scouts. the park was very neat- the neatest thing being that it is an island, and that it used to be completely swarmed with snails, which is what the residents (Indians) lived off of. Now, the entire island is covered in snail shells. I had to threaten daughter with jail time for removing state park property, just to avoid coming home with 1000 empty snail shells- all of which looked alike ;)

We ride the ferry (like a 15 second ride) to the island, and eat our lunch, let the girls play ,etc. Our "outdoorsy" mom as I like to call her, suggests that we go canoeing. And I agree.

Why? Someone, tell me why.

There were 3 adults and 3 girls that went, and knowing that I could not maneuver a canoe on my own (seeing as how I've never set butt in one), one of the moms comes with me and daughter. They untie us, and we immediately start drifting backwards, into the bank. 10 minutes later, we inch forward out into the open channel.

From there, it's about 20 minutes of screaming, lots of drifting towards the bank, and TONS of circles- no forward movement, just circles. It was quite humorous, and annoying all at once.

Fast forward about 15 more minutes and we finally develop a rhythm. We head down the river, and I see a "dead head" (log) sticking out in the water, and we're drifting towards it. But then...what the.. all of the sudden , the log starts swimming.

And it's a gator.

We, the useless canoe operators, are drifting right towards what is, in my opinion, a very large gator. Very large.

Team work becomes priority all of the sudden, and out of nowhere we learn (quite quickly!) how to stop, and reverse, and get the hell out of dodge.

Escaping what could have been a potentially bad situation, we head the opposite direction on the river. And not 5 minutes in, there's another one, sunbathing. Needless to say, that was the end of my first (and most likely last) canoe trip. We later learned that it's mating season, and that's it's a good idea to avoid them because in the park rangers words, they are "quite hostile".

WTF? She didn't feel the need to tell me this BEFORE I almost turned myself into some reptiles lunch? Where were the signs for this? Or are we the only idiots who actually rent those canoes?

Anyway, I'm back unscathed, and now I can say that I have officially met my first FL gator- almost too close for comfort, and without my camera, but I still have the possibility of recurring nightmares to keep it fresh in my memory. ;)

In other news, I'm currently searching for "the" perfect dress to wear to a wedding, in addition to 2 outfits to wear to daughters dance recital. I have some time to work with, but apparently not the body to work with. Since when did I become so much bigger than I used to be? Or maybe clothes became MUCH smaller? ;)

The good thing is Newport News and Speigel both have sections on their websites specifically called "What to wear to a wedding". Beyond that, they even have them divided out into categories (beach, city, etc). So why can't I squeeze my arse into something cute? Who knows. Still waiting on that miracle diet cure here people! ;)


Anonymous said...

ha ha I'm glad you escaped! Our girl scout troupe leader is also outdoorsey and....a marathon runner! LOL I feel like such a schlump around her!

i have no idea what to wear to a wedding. Last year I almost went to one and at the last minute couldnt go, and thank God because my cousin was there, all 103 pounds of her in a slinky turcoise thing. I'm seriously happy I had to drive 6 kids to a swim meet 2 hours away that day. Really! Less torturous.

Persnickety Ticker said...

Sorry you feel like ass. Glad you got away from the hostile gators. Don't swim in the neighborhood retention ponds. Those signs aren't there for cuteness.

On the wedding attire? My best advice would be clothed vs. naked. Oh and don't wear white.

That's all I got.

Word vert was grabs. So not something I can work with...

Bridgett said...

Holy SHITE! I would have been freaking out about the gators! Yikes!

So glad you're not being digested by one of them now. ;)

As for the wedding entry...I think Bernie and Cassie are both going to write about wedding outfits, so you're in luck! :D


p.s. Ever decide about the skydiving?

Karla said...

You wanted a gator and I want a close encounter with a moose. Sounds like you got what you asked for! How was it? LOL. Happy to hear that you're unscathed. Hoping you find something fab to wear to the wedding- White House Black Market always has cute dresses. Happy Shopping!